Battle Against Myself

Sunday, December 4, 2016

This year I turned a decade older. Still hitting the books, married, no kids, and still renting. I may have started late on settling my goals for an actual career, but I'm optimistic and haven't given up faith. Three years ago I would say I was content and ready for kids. Now 30 and the itch to travel, all I think about is finishing school and hit the road with my loved one. Though, with age and my bun, the word "Baby" is thrown from left to right. Pressure from the parents and spouse is wearing be down and the thought of not being able to travel overseas because of a child is making me hate myself. I'm at crosswords with my goals and commitments I made with my life partner with my wants of today. I am ever so grateful for the man I've married and his patience. And while my WANTS may appears to trump all, I am challenged with always putting others first and accommodating over my NEEDS (no complaints). As selfish as I may come across, the automatic consideration for others kicks in . The so-called "spoiled" runt is constantly at war with herself of becoming who I want to be for a change. I can only hope and pray for guidance to help me through the dilemma I'm in. That whatever is to come will be a blessing and always be grateful for what I have or been given...

SOLO | 11.12.2016

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